Fighting Fear

Law of Attraction: ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS NOTHING!

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Law of Attraction Do Nothing

Children are innately impatient. We come into the world demanding life. We scream at the top of our lungs with any minor annoyance. I am hungry! Feed me NOW! I am wet! Change me NOW! 

Now. Now. Now. 

When we are tiny this urgency is understandable. We need to be cared for intently in order to stay alive and to thrive. As we reach childhood we learn, slowly, how to first prioritise our needs and then ask for what we need in a polite manner. If we are about to fall from a tree we scream for help because that is a pretty pressing issue. If we are a little hungry and want a snack and are still too small to get it ourselves, we ask nicely and wait for the snack to appear. 

Learning to Wait

As we reach adulthood we are required to ask and then wait. Sometimes for quite a while. When we order at a restaurant, when we arrive for a doctor’s appointment or when we have submitted our manuscript to an agent or publisher (Mmm hmm). Sometimes we have to wait for these things for much longer than we would like but because we are not children anymore we just have to suck it up and wait. 

Waiting is Boring!

The hardest thing about waiting is that it’s boring. There are places to go, people to see, cats to pet and books to write! We don’t have time to just sit down and WAIT! I have goals! I have things I am desperately trying to manifest! I can’t just sit here and read about the God Damn Kardashians while my doctor runs 20 minutes late!

Interestingly though, you can wait. Because when it comes down to it waiting is simple: All you have to do is nothing. 

Law of Attraction Do Nothing

Learning to do Nothing

The other day I was making pancakes with my boys. We’d made the mixture, placed the pan on the element and we were waiting. We were waiting for the pan to heat up enough to melt the butter because only then is it the right time to pour in the batter. If you do it too soon the pancake won’t catch on the pan quite right and it won’t spread around nicely. The butter also won’t be hot enough so it won’t brown the pancake. What you’ll be left with is a flappy, sad pancake (or pandy-cake as my sons call them). 

“No no, it’s not hot enough yet,” I said after my youngest had once again, tried to ladle in the mixture too soon. “All you have to do is nothing.”

As I said the words I realised how valid they are for every one trying to understand the Law of Attraction. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOTHING.

Law of Attraction: All You Have to Do is Nothing!

No, sorry, this is not an invitation for you to sit around on the couch all day as a way to achieve your goals. What I mean when I say this is that action for the sake of action does not bring about faster or more desirable results!

The pancake put in the pan too soon does not cook any faster. It takes the same amount of time but just comes out not as good as it would have if YOU’D JUST WAITED. 

The Perks of Doing Nothing

When I’m paying for groceries I tell my kids to please, just stand their and do nothing for five minutes. Do they? No. Usually, as soon as my back is turned they decide to knock over a display of toilet paper or something, getting in trouble from the staff and then having to help clean up the mess. So now the five minutes has turned into 10 minutes, with a touch of frustrated energy thrown in for good measure. All they had to do was nothing.

Action taken in a Negative Vibration is Detrimental

So no matter if you are manifesting a new home, a better job, a lover or five million dollars, there is only so much action you can and should take. 

So you’ve written a book. You’ve done six drafts, you’ve had it assessed, you’ve made changes, you’ve sent it to a bunch of New York literary agents and now you have to wait. And wait. But let’s say you get sick of waiting. You start to doubt that the Universe is going to front up with the goods you’ve requested. Maybe I’m dreaming, you wonder. Nobody gets published the old fashioned way anymore! You decide, to hell with it, you’re gonna do it your own way! So you send off your manuscript to a bunch of vanity publishers who jump at the chance to publish it – at a fee. 

You’ve Done it! Or Have You?

Months later, you’ve done it! You are a published author! Except you didn’t realise that proof reading was not included in the deal, so there are some typos you missed. You also didn’t realise how much work would be involved in marketing your own book. It takes time. Time you would rather spend working on your next book. You’re happy with what you made happen but you can’t help thinking that it’s not quite what you wanted and perhaps if you had waited and submitted to the Universe perhaps your book deal would have appeared in divine timing.

When we act from a place of urgency, from a vibration of lack or fear, we are not using the Law of Attraction to our benefit. When we believe deep down inside that we will never get what we desire, unless we work like a pig and force it, then that is the energy we are projecting. So no matter what we do, in that state we will never get what we truly want, even if we do force it. 

Law of Attraction Do Nothing

Sometimes all we have to do is nothing 

Sometimes the most important thing we can do is not act but instead focus on our faith and our trust in The Universe. 

This is not to say that you can’t hustle, or send follow up emails, or push yourself out of your comfort zone to network and spread you work out into the world. Hell no! But remember that if you are acting from a place of lack, you will only attract more lack. 

I am always in the process of manifesting amazing things into my life. But you know what? I spend MORE time getting into an awesome vibrational state, than acting from a place of lethargy, doubt or fear. 

If I’m writing and I feel doubt, fear and self-judgement creep in, I stop right there and do something to lift my vibration IMMEDIATELY. There is no point trying to create from a place of negative vibration!

What Can you Do to Change Your Vibration?

-Exercise

-Meditate

-Play an instrument

-Dance around the room to Taylor Swift

-Listen to a podcast and clean

-Paint a picture or do crafts

-Garden

-Go for a swim

-Walk in nature

-Eat Cocao/dark chocolate

-Sing!

-Laugh with a friend

Lifting your Vibration Increases Productivity!

Even if you are a dedicated type A who struggles to take time out from “achieving”, giving some time to lifting your vibration will not only increase your productivity but also your ability to manifest what you desire!

Full Time Unicorn

Astrology

F#!K You, Mercury Retrograde!

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mercury retrograde

If you’ve recently felt like you’re head is full of porridge, like all your motivation has buggered off to pick daisies, or like speaking requires conscious effort, then you Dear Unicorn, may be feeling the effects of Mercury retrograde.

What is Mercury Retrograde?

Mercury retrograde occurs when the planet mercury appears to be moving backwards or away from the earth, (hence the term retrograde). But it’s not actually moving away from us, it’s just an illusion. It’s kind of like when you’re sitting on a train waiting for it to leave the station and when the train next to it starts moving it feels, for a split second, as if it’s your train that’s moving instead. And much like mercury retrograde it is jolting and a little un-nerving.

Mercury: The God

The Roman God Mercury, also known as Hermes by the Greeks, was known as the messenger of the Gods. With his winged helmet and speedy sandals he flitted around delivering messages. Mercury also governs commerce, eloquence, luck, travel and absolutely everything communication including technology and even divination – yes fellow voyants, that means you might need to give your crystal ball and extra good polish!

Mercury: The Planet

Thus the planet Mercury is said to govern communications. This is why all things related to communications can become very clouded during Mercury Retrograde. Emails don’t get sent somehow, letters get lost in the post, writers get writer’s block, people misunderstand each other and get into fights, directions and instructions get muddled and some people even feel mercury’s effects so bad that they struggle to even communicate simple thoughts in their heads. It can get ugly!

“People with strong and erratic personalities are often described as “mercurial” described as unpredictable, quick, and even a bit restless, by those who know them. A mercurial person is a person who is hard to predict.” –  YourTango.com

mercury retrograde

Mercury Retrograde and the Throat Chakra

Not surprisingly, I feel Mercury’s effects very strongly in my throat chakra. I feel like there’s mud in my brain and every time I try to speak the words simply won’t flow. It’s as if I have to consciously form each word and will my brain to recall it. This probably explains why I prefer to stay in during M R and paint, garden, perform spells and plan projects.

Mercury: The Trickster

The whole thing is made worse due to the fact that Mercury, the little blighter, is known as The Trickster. He is said to be witty and humorous and to like a good gag. All of these wonderful attributes come out to frolic during the fabulous three weeks of Mercury Retrograde! So while we’re booking the wrong flights, he is laughing.

Mercury Retrograde and the Zodiac

For some reason, not all retrogrades are created equal. Some pass by generally unnoticed and others are a real punch in the tit. This depends on where mercury hits in your astrological chart and what tasks you are required to perform in this time – If they’re super stressful and involve organising lots of people; may the force be with you.

My Mercury Retrograde Mayhem

One year I swear M.C almost ruined me. I was a mess. Everything I wrote was garbled and clumsy – or at least I thought so, which is creative suicide for us writers and artists. It took me hours to put together simple articles. This filled me with a thick black cloud of self doubt for at least 20 days. I questioned everything I thought I knew about myself. I Do I even enjoy writing? Am I even any good at it? Probably not. Maybe I should just get a normal job and try to blend in a little. 

Mercury Retrograde Thoughts

Interestingly, all of these thoughts were retrograde thoughts. These are all old beliefs that I used to struggle with but have since spent a lot of time and hard work releasing. I had no idea it was Mercury Retrograde at the time so I could not understand why I was going backwards.

Technical Difficulties

On top of all this mental and emotional mayhem, there was the technical/communications side too. My computer was on the fritz – I discovered a whole bunch of emails I had sent the week before had  not been sent. And as replying to emails swiftly is a point of purpose for me, this drove me pretty crazy. I had multiple disagreements with all aspects of technology – Blue Screen of Death et al – and also struggled to string a sentence together when speaking to people.

Funnily enough as soon as Mercury went direct again, the cloud of misery and confusion lifted as quickly as it had arrived. The change was so sudden and obvious, it was like a veil had literally been lifted off of my face.

mercury retrograde

 

Mercury Retrograde Survival

So how do we survive the next Mercury Retrograde? Personally, my best advice for surviving Mercury Retrograde is A) be aware of it and B) Don’t fight it.

If you know mercury is in retrograde then you’ll understand why you’re having trouble thinking and unlike me you won’t think you’re having a midlife crisis.

Chill…

So things are going haywire and nothing can get done? Don’t panic. Sit with it. Just have a break. So your office computer crashed again and you can’t do any work until the tech guy arrives? Meh. Go grab a coffee. Stop fighting against the river and just go with the flow of the current.

Finish Old Projects – Don’t Start New Ones

If you have terrible writer’s block and can’t seem to move forward in an article or story take some time out from the writing side of things and instead maybe do some research, do some editing or simply list some ideas for articles to write in the future.

Mercury retrograde is not a great time to begin creative projects. But it is a great time to plan, gather ideas, and go over old project that you never managed to finish. The latter makes the most of the retrograde aspect. You may even find that old things you never finished simply jump into your mind – that’s a cue from the Universe to go back and settle old scores.

Embrace Nostalgia

Due to the back-glancing nature of M.R, you may find that you bump into old friends and reminisce over the good times. So too ex-lovers. This can be a great time to get closure on faded friendships, but it’s not a great time to try and talk out old annoyances as things are highly likely to get miss-interpreted and cause great arguments.

Over the years I’ve learned to use Mercury Retrograde to my advantage. I love pulling out old projects, organising my drawers – in true Kondo fashion. I also Meditate, read, go for walks, bake and paint. Basically, I try to take the pressure to “hit targets” and “achieve goals” off my shoulders. I try to allow myself to wander and meander.

Truth? Mercury Retrograde is a Bitch

If it sounds like I am trying to portray Mercury retrograde through rose tinted glasses, then, you got me! When it really comes down to it, Mercury retrograde is a total See You Next Tuesday. If you’re used to crossing things off your To Do list with gusto, think again. For these three weeks, you’re gonna feel slow and groggy. It will suck.

Things to Avoid During Mercury Retrograde

It’s not a good time to publish books or magazines (unless you’ve proof-read like a boss), close big deals, travel or sign contracts, as important details are likely to get muddled. If you can’t avoid it, take your time to check you’re aware of what you’re booking/buying/signing/publishing.

Ditto with communicating with friends over email or text. If your messages don’t get lost in the void and manage to get through to the recipient, they are very likely to be misinterpreted during M.C and cause a fight. It is best to talk over the phone, or better yet, in person over a nice cup of tea and some pie!

mercury retrograde

Mercury Retrograde: A Cosmic Holiday

I like to think of Mercury Retrograde as a compulsory cosmic holiday. It is astrology’s way of saying “slow down, have a break, take some time to recharge”.

Of course in this day and age it is not always an option for us to go AWOL from life for three weeks at a time. If this is the case, then just knowing it is Mercury Retrograde can help. Instead of getting down and annoyed at the madness, try to laugh. Try to wink at that pesky Mercury when he manages to muddle with your emails or lose your thesis. Just laugh!

Full Time Unicorn

Creative Industries

Who is Your Inner Critic of Creative Anxiety?

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Creative Anxiety Inner Critic

How do you beat the Inner Critic of Creative Anxiety?

I used to love painting portraits. For a very long time it was my main creative outlet. But somewhere along the way I became filled with a deep creative anxiety which was fuelled by the voices of my inner critic. All of a sudden my art was shrouded in a veil of judgement, expectation and fear. I was so afraid of making a mistake, I couldn’t even let myself try.

The Inner Critic

We all hear voices. That doesn’t make us crazy. It simply makes us human.

In every area of our lives we face self judgment and criticism. And for each area of our lives we hear a voice telling us we’re doing things wrong. That nagging nasty voice in your head is known as the inner critic.

Personally I have a whole bunch of critics in my head. I have one voice who judges my housework and one who hassles my parenting. I have a critic who tells me I’m fat and one who tells me I’m stupid. Personally, my critics are based on people from my childhood or teenage years. It’s quite common for the voices of your inner critics to take on the tone of family members, teachers, ex boyfriends or even your personal trainer! But sometimes, the voices come from nasty little beings that aren’t even human!

Creative Anxiety

If you’ve ever experienced creative anxiety this scene will sound familiar to you…

You sit down, ready to work. You start. Then all of a sudden a black cloud of doubt wafts above your head. Everything you do is rubbish! Says the voice in your head. You want to ignore it but maybe it’s right? Now, the paragraph you have just written is stupid. The picture you have started is silly and childish, and though before you thought the imperfections were charming, style defining and just abstract enough, now they are judging you and calling you out on your short comings. You suck! screams the voice.

The poem you wrote is flat. Its intentions are too obvious. The blog post you started is passée and has totally been done before. Argh. Your stomach is now in knots. Twisting and turning. You want to work through this but you can’t. Now you are too afraid to make a mistake and are over thinking everything! It is all too hard. Why bother. Stop. Cry. Give up.

When it comes to your creative work the inner critic can cause damaging creative anxiety. It is evil, brooding and nasty.

Creative Anxiety Inner Critic

My Inner Critics of Creativity

Personally, I have two inner critics that govern creativity. One is an aged crone whose only mission in life is to clean her home; she sees any act of creativity as self-indulgent, selfish and lazy. Her moto is “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”

The second creativity inner critic is an evil pixie who has come to loiter on my shoulder. The pixie, Morag, has sat on the shoulders of many an artist but she’s never been impressed. She has very high expectations of art but they’re so high that she’ll never ever be satisfied. Morag doesn’t understand the concept of learning, of growth or persistence. And unlike the aged crone, she’s just plain mean.

Morag whispers cruel nothings into my ears. She pollutes my mind with doubt. She wants me to give up. She works on a contract basis for the Ego; whose job is to protect me from embarrassment, shame and disappointment. But Morag doesn’t know that. She’s just getting paid to call me names.

The Inner Critic Senses Fear

The funny thing is that Morag isn’t always around. Yes, there are times when she pops up when I’m writing. But once I get my flow on she can’t keep up. She also buggers off when I get out the clay. When I’m working with textures and varnish and wax she is nowhere to be seen. But as soon as I pick up the pencil she flutters back into my life telling me “You suck at this!”

She doesn’t stop there. Oh no. She keeps it up. Even if I try to block out her taunts by listening to Joni Mitchell on my Ipod, the nasty little chestnuts she hurls still penetrate.  “You did the nose wrong!” she jeers. “Now, you’re going to get it wrong over and over again!” Then finally once I’ve fought through to the end. “Yikes, I wouldn’t bother painting that one!”

I ignore her vigilantly. I have learnt to now. I used to listen. Now I tune her out and keep going. “Shut up Morag!” I yell. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. On the occasions when I get to the painting stage it all gets much better. Painting is my safe zone; it is free flowing and calming. The pixie is bored at that stage – she knows she has lost the fight. Her heart is no longer in it so off she flutters – she has other dreams to crush elsewhere.

Creative Anxiety Inner Critic

Fighting the Inner Critic

So how does one fight the Inner Critic of creativity? It doesn’t matter if we’re playing guitar, knitting, baking, painting or writing. If our mind is filled with nasty, doubting, judging voices, nothing is going to run smoothly. So how do we get thought it?

Give them a Name

If you name the inner critic of your creativity it makes it much easier to ignore their nasty voice. What’s more, it separates the voices of self-doubt from your own mind – they are not your thoughts or your doubts, they are the voices of your inner critic. Now, when I hear Morag’s nasty jibes I smile and laugh. She’s so awful she’s actually quite funny.

Tap it Out with EFT

If your case of creative anxiety has already began to prevent you from even attempting your creative work, then it’s time to get serious! We’re calling in the big guns to tap out that anxiety. I love tapping. I use it all the time for all kinds of anxieties or ailments.

If you haven’t yet heard of EFT or tapping, put simply, it’s a cross between acupressure and hypnotherapy. But tapping on the body’s meridian points at the same time as speaking through affirmations, the brain is able to release some of the anxiety associated to the specific issue. Check out the video below to get you started on your tapping journey.

To tap on your area of creative anxiety you first need connect to the issue of concern. You might like to start with a script along the lines of “Even though I have this creative anxiety, this fear of painting portraits (or whatever is stressing you out) I love, accept and forgive myself completely and utterly. Even though every time I start drawing I hear the voices of my inner critic telling me I suck, that everything I do is terrible, that there’s no point in even trying, I love accept and forgive myself completely and utterly.”

This will get you emotionally connected to the issue we are trying to correct. Once you feel completely connected, it time to start the cycle of tapping.

Once you’ve completed a few cycles take a few breaths and see how you feel. Are there any memories or thoughts that have come up for you? These can be a helpful clue to where these limiting beliefs were formed. You may wish to focus in on them: Even though someone told me I could not draw when I was little, I love accept and forgive myself completely and utterly.

For the final round of tapping – you will instinctively know when this is – start going through the process of letting go. “Even though I have this creative anxiety, these memories from childhood, I choose to let go now. I am letting go now. I trust in the universe, I trust in my unique power and I choose to let go now.”

Meditation

I harp on about meditation all the time but it really is a game-changer. Before you start your creative work take a 15 -20 minute guided meditation. Taking this time to clear your mind before you start will greatly help to quiet the thoughts and free the mind.

Shake it out

This is a big one for me. When I engage in cardio for over 30 minutes, something explodes in my head. I can feel all doubt, sadness and disdain melt away. In it’s place I am left with an abundance of inspiration! Most of my art, blog, and play ideas come from an exercise endorphin rush. So remember to stay active and pump out that stagnant dust.

Creative Anxiety Inner Critic

Don’t Stop!

Flip that pixie the middle finger by hitting it everyday. Don’t let that anxiety keep you away from what you love doing. And definitely do not let it make you dread it like I did. If you persist, soon the Pixie will bugger off and leave you to it.

Pick up that guitar, pen or paint brush and keep at it. Soon, you will find that what once was challenging is now a natural function. When things become more familiar, the fear goes away – learning to drive is a good example of this. The first time we get behind the wheel can be scary but eventually it becomes second nature.

Embrace the Learning Process

We never ever stop learning. Wouldn’t it be sad if we did?

Every time we start something new we are going in blind. We have no previous knowledge to work with so realistically there is no way we can master something at the first attempt.

In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell writes about the 10,000 hour rule. He explains that in order to become a professional in any field one must simply spend 10,000 hours on it. Natural ability has very little to do with it, because if you simply put in your 10,000 hours you’ll become pretty damn good regardless of whether you could bend a ball like Beckham when you were two.

It can be helpful to keep a work log so you remind yourself how far you’ve come. When I look back on my very early blogs, poems and stories, part of me winces – the other part of me is so proud that I never gave up. I wrote and I learnt and I learnt as I wrote.

Look at your old work and how it has developed. Give yourself props. You are doing well. Remember – The first one’s the worst one!

Replace the negative voices with positive affirmations

Take a breath and tell the voice in your head to bugger off. Instead replace that nasty quip with a positive affirmation like “I am a passionate, skilled, artist.” Tell yourself you are doing well. Be kind to yourself.

“I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.” – Louise Hay

Have a plan

It can help to have a goal, theme or purpose for what you are doing. It doesn’t need to be huge. It could just be that you are looking at exploring portraiture emotion, you could be aiming to write a novel for publishing, a play for a festival by a given date, perform a song at a friends party. It could be anything. All you need is something to give the work purpose and drive and also inspire more work to come.

Sisterhood

It is absolutely essential for creative women to surround themselves with other creative women. Whether it be to bounce ideas off of each other, to support each other’s projects, to inspire each other, whatever.

Sometimes the best way to work through a creativity snag is to talk it out, and if like mine your partner/spouse/lover is somewhat creatively un-opinionated then it is vital to find someone to talk with about art and creating.

My bestie is my main go-to for creative conversing. We pitch all our ideas at each other and help each other cut a clear path in our projects. It is totally invaluable.

Full Time Unicorn

Fighting Fear

Envy: Understanding the Green Eyed Monster

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Overcoming Envy

Envy is a human emotion so old that it is noted in The Bible as one of the seven deadly sins. Nestled amongst wrath, greed, pride, lust, gluttony and sloth lies envy. The green eyed monster. The evil eye.

When it strikes it is enough to make you roll on the floor and wail. Your eyes feel hot and there’s a hard ball forming in your stomach. You want to procure the largest tub of ice cream available and wallow. All because you looked at someone’s Instagram Story and watched them unpack a massive free PR Haul. Why do they deserve all that free stuff? Doesn’t she have enough as it is? That is so unfair! Why can’t I get free stuff!

Girl, Envy is Rife

In these modern times of Social Media envy is rife. If we’re not feeling it and directing it toward others then we are actively attracting it. We post only the most flattering photos of ourselves doing exciting activities or receiving beautiful gifts from our admirers. But despite knowing that we are prone to only highlighting the good in our lives online, we fail to realise that everyone else is actually doing the same thing.

When we longingly lurk the halls of Facebook, narrowing our eyes at photos of our frenemies enjoying tropical holidays, it doesn’t make us feel good. In fact a study carried out by the University of Copenhagen found that when people, who are prone to bouts of envious depression from browsing Social Media, take a break from it, their mental health improves dramatically.

Envy Vs Jealousy

But what exactly is envy? And how is it different from jealousy? Well according to Psychology today envy is different to jealousy because it is a feeling directed at one person, usually over a something they have that you want; like their size 8 booty, their shiny new car, or their invite to that exclusive party. Jealousy on the other hand requires a third party. It is the third wheel situation where your bestie invites another friend along to an outing, leaving you with a fear that this new interloper may compete for your title of BFF.

The Truth about Envy

When I was in High School, there was a beautiful girl who was in a few of my classes. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was eye-catchingly gorgeous; she turned heads wherever she went with her long legs, great figure and pretty face. So not surprisingly a lot of people adored, envied and despised her.

I wish I could say that I was immune to the envy she stirred up in people but alas I was not. Just like many other people, I didn’t bother to speak to her, I simply stood back and glared at her and felt my heart grow cold and hard towards her.

Envying her didn’t feel good. It felt awful. It’s not a nice feeling when you want something someone else has, even more so when it’s something you can’t have; such as her lovely long limbs, straight white teeth, or the attention of all the boys in the school.

It would have been easier if she were a bitch. Then we all could have been justified in hating her just a little bit. But she wasn’t a bitch at all. She was shy so she didn’t tend to spark up conversations with people around her but she was never mean. This didn’t stop people from writing nasty quips about her on the walls of the girl’s toilets or spreading rumours involving her and the 1st 15 rugby team.

We cursed her with Envy

In our final year of high school this beautiful girl started to unravel. First her parents separated, then her sister went wild; drinking and partying, then she got sick. Really sick. I heard from her friends that she couldn’t even lift her head off the pillow and that she had a red blistering rash all over her back. The doctors didn’t know what had caused it or what was wrong with her.

Instinctively I knew. We had done this. All of us. We’d all envied her so much that we had forced this dark emotion onto her. The worst part was that I felt a strange sense of glee at her misfortune.

Overcoming Envy

Envy and the Evil Eye

Envy in Judaism

In Judaism, it is believed that people have the power to place a curse or hex on others, simply by looking at them wickedly with evil in their heart. The affected person can then become ill, suffering from vomiting, lethargy, fever and chills. It is said that envy has a large role to play in the work of the Evil Eye, with many practicing Jews choosing not to brag or talk freely about their finest possessions, good fortune, or the love they have for their children, as “they wouldn’t want to tempt the Evil Eye”. If they do speak of these things, it is common for both parties to say something like “b’li ayin hara” (Hebrew), meaning “without an evil eye”.

Envy in Islam

In Islam a similar saying is used to ward off evil. When speaking of any good fortune or blessings in life, it is customary to end with “Masha’Allah” – God has willed it. This statement somewhat separates the good fortune from the receiver, implying that it is merely God’s blessing, not theirs, making it less likely to attract the envy of others or that pesky Evil Eye. Interestingly, in Arabic the term used for Evil Eye actually translates to ‘The Eye of Envy’.

Envy in Asyrian Culture

Asyrians are such strong believers in the Evil Eye that they will commonly wear a turquoise or green bead around their necks to ward off evil. Interestingly, Assyrians believe that the power of the Evil Eye is more likely to be possessed by people with blue or green eyes. This is possibly because green and blue eyes are far less common in Assyrian countries. But this could explain where the term Green Eyed Monster came from.

Envy in Greek Culture

In Greece it is thought that the Evil Eye comes not just from others wishing you ill but also from those who are in awe of you. Whether they envy your beauty, you lovely children or your home is beside the point. It is believed the very act of converting what someone else has is enough to place a hex on them.  If someone has felt a pinch of envy or admiration it is customary to utter the Greek saying “I spit so that I do not give you the eye!”

Warding off the Evil Eye

The use of spitting to ward off the Eye is also used in Judaism, where women will spit three times in a row to ward off the curse that could be afflicted after offering compliments.

Interestingly though, it is not just the receiver of the Evil Eye that is cursed. In the Jewish text, The Chapters of the Fathers, Rabbi Eliezer wrote the following:

“A man with “an evil eye” will not only feel no joy but experience actual distress when others prosper, and will rejoice when others suffer. A person of this character represents a great danger to our moral purity.”

Overcoming Envy

Understanding Envy

I’d been writing for about three years when I decided I would start trying to get my work published in literary journals, magazines independent blogs, et al. I sent in poem after poem, pitch after pitch and story after story. All of which got sent back to me with a polite rejection letter.

Meanwhile my dearest friends were getting published all over the show. With every excited text message I received from my friends, I‘d become more and more consumed with resentment and misery.

Why am I so unlucky? I would ask others. Is there something wrong with my writing? With my name? Why can’t I get anything published? My friends all shrugged. “Your writing is great. I don’t know why it won’t get published. Maybe just focus on the joy you get from it, not on getting in published.

So I tried to focus on the joy. I wrote and wrote. But now every word I typed felt heavy with my own judgement. Is this the right word? Is this the right style? I questioned everything I wrote and quietly resented the friends who had suggested such a foolish exercise. Finding joy in your work is easy when the outside world tells you it’s good!

Spiritual Bathing for Envy

Overcome with this dark and heavy misery that had permeated my work, I called upon a healer I had met called Samar Ocean Wolf Ciprian. I had previously seen Samar for physical healing work but this time I knew the help I needed was more spiritual. I explained how I was feeling and Samar revealed, “It sounds like envy”.

At first I was appalled. I didn’t want to be envious of my friends, I wanted to be happy for them! I really was excited for them, but in the way of that excitement was a heavy burden; a large black monolith blocking the light from their good fortune.

She talked me through the practice of spiritual bathing, a Mayan healing technique that uses plants, water and prayer to remove negative energies from the body and soul. In my case the negative energy was envy.

I was instructed to first go for a walk to collect beautiful (non-toxic plants), then place them into a large bowl with water. Whilst breaking the plants up with my hands, infusing them into the water, I repeated a prayer or mantra, nine times. The prayer calls forth the goddess of water and the spirit of the plants to cleanse you of envy, then asks for any negative energies to be sent straight to the light where they can be of no harm to any living being.

The prayer can be to whomever you like, whether it be to a god, goddess or personal divinity is completely up to you. Simply ask them, along with the goddess of water and the spirits of the plants you have collected, to help cleanse you of this envy.

Once you have blessed the waters with the prayer it is time to start the bathing. If it is warm enough you could do this outside, if not, the shower is also a great place.

Remove your clothing and begin to rub the blessed potion all over yourself: Arms, legs, body, and face. If you like you can repeat the prayer again as you do this, or you can say it silently to yourself. Once you have rubbed it all over your body, tip the remaining potion over your head. Stand in silence for a few moments before taking a shower and washing yourself clean of envy.

Sage and Palo Santo Cleansing

An alternative to full spiritual bathing is to simply use either sage or Palo Santo smoke to smudge yourself. I personally prefer Palo Santo for its woody delicious aroma. All you need to do is undress and wave the smoke all around your body whilst repeating the prayer nine times.

I tend to use this method more frequently to remove envy, unless of course I am completely overcome with envy, then I will practice spiritual bathing and smudge my whole house!

Letting Go of Envy

Once I had rid myself of envy I felt so much lighter. I hadn’t realised just how much energy I had been using up on that awful snarled emotion. It was as if light were now able to shine on me and that big black monolith, that had been blocking my ability to feel truly happy for others, had shattered. Now not only could I share in celebrating the successes of my friends and focus fearless energy into my creative work, I could also attract abundance into my life.

Overcoming Envy

Nothing Blocks the Flow of Abundance like Envy

When we allow ourselves to be overcome with envy we are not choosing gratitude for what we have. We are instead choosing to focus on lack and rue those around us who appear to have more. The best tools for attracting abundance are love and gratitude and envy promotes the exact opposite!

Next time when you are scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and you start to feel the heavy twinge of envy forming in your gut, take a moment. Put down your phone and take some deep breaths. Look around you and find three things in your vicinity that you are grateful for and tell yourself why. This can help you to see quite quickly that you too have abundance all around you. And remember, the next time feel yourself directing envy toward someone else, do you really want to inflict that on them? Do you really want to curse them with the Evil Eye?

Full Time Unicorn

Body Image

How Past Experiences Cause Limiting Beliefs

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Full Time Unicorns

Painful issues are a part of life. Everyone at some point in their lives has been hurt. Maybe you lost a loved one or struggled when your parents divorced as a child. These things can stay will us but sometimes it’s the little things – an infinitesimal moment in which we learn a negative belief about ourselves – that stay with us for life.

Most of us will have been told at some point in our lives that we can’t do something. It’s usually a parent, teacher or childhood friend who tells us that we are not good at something in an offhand comment, completely unaware of the damage they have done. It could be something as simple as being told we can’t sing, draw or dance as a child. It could be an adult casually telling us we’re a bit dumb or chubby. Whatever it is, this flippant remarks can plant a seed of doubt in our minds that can grow into a whomping willow.

The issue is, a lot of the time the things we are led to believe about ourselves are not actually true.

A Limiting Belief Around Weight

In my case I was led to believe from a young age I had a weight issue. The truth is I have never in my life been considered overweight on the BMI. The idea that I was overweight was one enforced on me by my parents, who due to their own limiting beliefs around body image and self-worth, were concerned that I would potentially become very overweight, then struggle with myself esteem and go on to live a lonely, loveless life. In their minds when they told me I should “avoid peanut butter” they were doing so from a place of love..

Technically, the weight issue was theirs as they were the ones who created and enforced it.  But nonetheless their need to remind me that I “should not eat so much candy” inevitably made me feel like I was already overweight and that I should feel ashamed of myself for even liking candy. This led to bursts of starvation and food obsession, followed by binge eating and self loathing. All of this at the ripe old age of 10.

By allowing someone else’s belief to become my own, I went through my tweens and teens feeling bad about myself. By 12 I was purging. By 20 I was just plain starving.  If I’d had greater self esteem, I could have simply shrugged my shoulders and moved on, confident in my self perception. Instead of hiding away in baggy clothes and spending my summers sweltering in long boardshorts, I could’ve rocked the bod I had by wearing whatever I goddamn liked. I’d have known that regardless of my size, I am valid and I am a fucking unicorn.

A Limiting Belief Around Creativity

My friend Megan was told at a young age that she wasn’t creative. This was possibly because she was very good at maths, writing and everything else that was easily graded or marked. It was obvious to see how clever she was when it came to logical subjects, but creativity is something that can’t be graded.

She was pushed into the subjects in which she clearly excelled but was not often encouraged to try creative subjects. She was taught to perform well and she did however there was little room to simply test the waters or try new things.

I was 12 when I met Megan. I knew of her  because she was the 24 champion of New Zealand. If you weren’t born in New Zealand, you may not know that 24 was a maths game that became very popular through kiwi schools in the early 90s. The basic gist of the game is that you have a deck of square cards which have 4 numbers on them. A small group of kids sit in a circle around a one card and the first kid to make these numbers equal 24, using any equation, places two fingers on the card and says “got it”. They then have to explain their working to the group. If they get it right they keep the card. The kid with the most cards when the deck is finished is the winner.

24 was kind of a big deal in 1995 and so Megan was basically a Maths celebrity.  This was huge in my mind because maths was not my strong suit at all. I was in love with art and story writing and performing one woman plays to my cat.

I, and many others, made the same assumption about Megan. If she’s that good at maths, she cant be very creative. She has a logical mind. That’s where she excels. She was surely too good at writing essays to also be good at fiction. She was too good at science to bother pursuing art. She was mathematical, not creative.

So when we, her friends, laughed at her attempts at drawing, she learnt to laugh along with us. But in doing so, we were perpetuating her own limiting beliefs around her lack of creative ability.

Little did we know that creativity doesn’t require a membership card. Nor does it strictly relate to art. Being artistic is not the same as being artistic. There are a million ways to show your creativity. Like Louise L Hay explains, you can be a creative gardener, cook or even bed maker. 

It wasn’t until her late teens that Megan realised that she not only loved writing fiction but she also enjoyed the process of drawing and painting. She followed her curiosities and allowed herself to enjoy the process. Today Megan is a published author who paints almost daily.

 

Limiting Beliefs That Self Perpetuate

Funnily enough, while Megan was living with the belief that she was not creative I was dealing with the belief that I was not good at maths, so therefore, dumb.

While I enjoyed art I did not enjoy maths. It bored me to tears and no matter what I did I could not get the hang of it.  I preferred to paint and draw and write poems. When I was 10, my teacher, aware that my mathematical ability was below average, sent me off to do a back up class in the afternoons with another group of kids who were also struggling. The trouble was that the afternoons were when we usually did art class.

I’d sit in my second maths class of the day feeling miserable. My head throbbed as I tried to make sense of concepts that I could not understand – and did not care to. My heart ached for paint and paper-mache. But I knew what they were telling me. Or at least I thought I did.

Art is a waste of time. Your talent in that area is not important to us. Stop spending so much time painting pictures and you will be a better person in our eyes.

I did my best. I worked hard memorising times tables and mastering the basic rules of sums. My parents even bought a video training programme so that I could study at home after school. Everyday. So after school instead of painting I watched my maths videos and did the exercises, determined to do better, to make my parents and my teachers happy.

However, no matter what I did, the maths wouldn’t take and now every time I sat at my desk to paint my heart felt full of anxiety. This is bad. I heard in my head. Painting is a waste of time. It makes you a bad student.

Looking back this makes me so furious! I am still bad at maths. Terrible in fact. I still find no joy in using that part of my brain. But guess what? I don’t have to. If at any time in life I need to do some quick maths I can pull out my goddamn phone and use the calculator!

By the time I reached high school (yep, you guessed it!) I was still bad at maths. But now I was also average at art. My creative advantage had dwindled.

I was placed in a low level maths class, which was widely known as Cabbage Maths. When others learnt that I was in this class they started making jokes about me, saying that I was ditsy and dumb. I played into this joke because I genuinely believed the fact that I was not great at Maths meant I was dumb. So, if I got average grades in others subjects – like science or social studies, what else would I expect – I wasn’t very smart, remember.

By the age of 15 I’d pretty much given up at school. I went to class but I did the bare minimum and failed more tests than I passed. It was easier not to try – what if I tried my best and still failed the test? That would mean I really was dumb and my belief would be justified.

The only subjects I did well in were the creative ones. Not surprisingly, I excelled at painting, sculpture, photography and film studies – all the subjects that I let myself believe I could master.

The limiting belief that I was not smart led me to assume that was what other people thought of me too. I’m became highly sensitive of anyone undermining me or implying that I was not intelligent. I tried my best to appear smart, to “fool” others into thinking I was clever. But if anyone ever questioned something I’d said I would get mad and upset. Because not only had they made me feel stupid but they’d obviously seen through my ruse.

This limiting self belief made taking feedback on my work very hard because I saw every critique as someone telling me I was stupid and that my work was bad. If someone gave me grammatical corrections, they thought I was dumb. If someone explained something in great detail, they thought I was dumb. If someone rolled their eyes at me, they thought I was dumb.  In my head, I was a dumb person trying desperately to appear smart. Smart enough to be taken seriously. Smart enough to matter.

It wasn’t until years later when I took a Menza test on a whim, scoring highly, that I realised that intelligence comes in many forms. There’s mathematical intelligence and then there’s thinking creatively. Sure my mind may not remember how to do long division and my brain may ache at simply trying to carry the ones, but when I want to, I can learn something new. I taught myself basic coding skills when I started blogging. I learnt how to edit audio footage for my podcast, then I figured out how to convert sound files. I even managed to write a 85,000 word book of fiction. So, turns out I’m not dumb after all!

Limiting Beliefs

What are your Limiting Beliefs?

My experiences are not rare. Most of us believe things about ourselves that limit us in ways large and small. It could be a simple belief that if you are not great at something then there’s no point in doing it. Or it could be that just because in high school you didn’t have a huge group of friends that means you ‘have trouble making friends’. On the flip side I knew a girl who was very popular in high school, so went out into the world with the belief that she was better than everyone. This ultimately led to people disliking her.

It’s these preconceived notions passed down to us that we need to shake off in order to be free. It takes deep self reflection to realise that we hold these limiting beliefs about ourselves and it takes constant work to prevent ourselves from playing into them. 

Limiting Beliefs and The Law of Attraction

When we let these old beliefs play like a vintage vinyl in our mind, we are sending these messages out to The Universe. We are literally vibrating with the energy of what we don’t want! The only way to stop these beliefs from perpetuating, is to change our thinking. 

Once we identify them as limiting beliefs that are not actually true, we can consciously choose to inherit new positive beliefs.

What limiting beliefs do you have about yourself? Where do you think you learned them and what belief would you need to learn to turn the old belief around?

Food for thought!

Full Time Unicorn

 

Fighting Fear

Unicorns Defined: The History, Symbolism and Deeper Meanings of the Unicorn

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Unicorn Definition

Throughout history the unicorn has been depicted as a pale white horse with a single grooved horn extending from its forehead; a feature that is not found anywhere else in the animal kingdom. Sure, there are narwhals – the large arctic porpoise with a single long eye tooth extending from its mouth. There’s the rhinoceros and the aptly named unicorn fish; with a large fleshy horn-like growth on its head. But there’s no animal quite like the elusive and mysterious, rainbow farting unicorn.

The Unicorn in History

For a supposed legendary creature the unicorn appears a lot in documented history. Images of the unicorn were found etched into stone seals unearthed in areas previously inhabited by the ancient Indus Valley Civilisation, estimated to be from as long ago as 2500 BC. And interestingly, the unicorn doesn’t make an appearance in ancient Greek Mythology but it does feature in the Greek records of natural history.

The Unicorn not only appeared in the bible, translated from the word Re’em,  but it was painted, sculpted and woven into various scenes depicting the virgin Mary. The famous bronze statue Virgin Mary Holding Unicorn is still on display at the National Museum in Warsaw today.

The Virgin and the Unicorn

The unicorn has always had an association with the virgin. Perhaps due to its symbolism of purity. Even Leonardo Di Vinci wrote about the unicorn and the virgin in his notebooks. Legend has it that only a female virgin could attract and tame the illusory creature. The tale went further to include that said virgin would then be made to tame the unicorn so that hunters could slay the beast in order to retrieve its horn. The seven part story of the Hunt of the Unicorn was woven into tapestries which still hang in the Cloisters of the Met.

Unicorn Horn and Alicorn Powder

For millennia unicorn horn was considered to be a prized commodity. Kings were gifted cups said to be carved from the horns of the creatures, which were said to protect against poisons. The throne chair of Denmark was believed by many to be made from the horns of unicorns.

Ground unicorn horn was known as alicorn powder and it had many medicinal uses. Up until around the 1800 it was used to purify potentially contaminated water, taken to protect against plague and administered as a treatment for most ailments. Some even believed that it could bring the gift of eternal life. The price the powder fetched was so high that alicorn was a substance only reserved for royalty.

 The Unicorn as a Totem

My first encounter with unicorns was as a young child. I wasn’t out in the forest or in a deep dream, nope, I was watching a very young Tom Cruise in Legend. When the unicorns trotted onto the screen I was transfixed. My whole body shivered with goosebumps – the way it still does today when I am confronted with a heavy realisation or a spark of inspiration. I knew right then that the unicorn was important. That it was to be my guide and my totem for life.

I didn’t quite know how or why at the time but I knew in the deepest part of my soul that one day the importance of the unicorn would present itself to me, and many years later, it did.

Modern Symbolism

These days unicorns are everywhere! The unicorn has become a symbol for individuality and authenticity. It’s used as a term to describe a startup company worth over a billion dollars, a symbol for gay pride and a urban dictionary term for a sexually experimental person who enjoys sleeping with couples! 

The Full Time Unicorn

Personally, I believe a unicorn is anyone who chooses to embrace the magic in life. It’s a person who follows their heart and follows the yearning deep inside them to do what they are called to do. It means having a voice and choosing to use it. It means honouring your quirks and understanding that your true mighty power resides in your weirdness, not in your ability to camouflage it.

Being a unicorn takes bravery. It takes big sparkly to be your true authentic self and boldly step into the world owning your awesomeness.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong; you are a unicorn. If you’ve ever felt like you think differently to other people; you are a unicorn. If you’ve ever felt like you have strange and wonderful gifts to offer the world; you are a unicorn. If you’ve ever felt like you’re connected to something bigger, something magical and something wonderful, then you my friend are a unicorn.

It’s time to stop pretending to be anything other than what you are.

Your ideas, your thoughts, your dreams, they are the stuff of legends. Stop holding back and holding yourself in* it’s time you stopped apologising for who you are and started letting that magic free.

Do the world a massive favour and be yourself! Please! We can’t wait to meet you and experience your gifts!

Full Time Unicorn

*Unless you are a bigot or a murderer. Feel free to suppress that shit.

Uncategorized

I Quit Sugar! Then Didn’t

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I quit sugar, then didn't

Sugar is my kryptonite.

I’m not a one biscuit kind of girl. If I snap that Kitkat: It’s. All. On.

All my life I’ve been a sweet tooth and all my life I have harboured shame about it. So much so that for years if I felt embarrassed or ashamed I could swear I could feel my bum growing bigger. If was as if instead of my cheeks blushing, my butt was expanding.

Candy is Dandy

As a child candy was dandy and I’d go nuts for donuts. But I also didn’t have luxury of being one of those willowy armed children who get told they have “hollow legs”. Nope. I was a sturdy kid with ringlets and a pot-belly. Because of this my love of all things chocolate covered was seen as an issue. It was surely to blame for my perky bum and doughy little arms, which were officially *shakes head* “not good”.

A Fear of Sugar

By the age of ten I had an associated fear of sugary foods. A love hate relationship. I wanted them. I loved them. But if I had just one bite I had failed myself and my family. I had succumbed to pleasure. I had let myself down and I was to blame for looking the way I did – which was actually fine by the way but supposedly the act of sacrificing candy would make me look better.

Sacrifice. The word itself says it all. Give something up. Going without. Depriving one’s self for the greater good. A trade of sorts. If you don’t eat that cream-egg now, you’ll feel better about yourself later.

I learned to try and deprive myself of sugary food. I go all out, living on celery and eventually, resentful that I should have to deprive myself in the first place, I’d fall off the wagon and eat all of the treats out of sadness and frustration. Like a big candy cry-wank.

Numbing through Sugar

Throughout my teenage years sugar was my go-to-sad-food. If I had a bad day I’d smash a bar of chocolate. If my boyfriend broke up with me – a bag of Pineapple Lumps. It was like I could escape the sadness and instead live on a puffy cloud made of marshmallow and sing along to Katy Perry songs. I knew it was bad for my health but I think that was why I did it; as a form of self-harm. One part comfort food, one part self-punishment with a pinch of self-sabotage.

As I grew into adulthood I noticed that other people were starting to turn to alcohol as a numbing agent. After a stressful day with the kids my friends would reach for a glass of wine, then sometimes the whole bottle when things got really hard.

For me it was always chocolate biscuits. Fuck, the kids were hard work today. Time to smash a packet of Squiggles. Then, in a sugar coma I would space out and watch T.V, waiting for the come down and the inevitable headache and regret. The next day I’d do it all again.

Sugar Addiction

I could not eat sugar in moderation. After speaking with my friends who have battled addiction I realised that my sugar consumption was a kin to their alcohol use. If I started could not stop. It was all I thought about and my motivation for going places and getting through the day. What was the point of going to the park if we weren’t going to get an ice cream? If there was no chocolate after the bed time routine what would I have to look forward to all day?

After eating sugar I would feel sick, tired, irritable and anxious. I was addicted to sugar and it was having a detrimental effect on my health.

I quit sugar, then didn't

Reducing Sugar

So, slowly but surely I started reducing my sugar intake. Instead of eating treats every night it became a weekend affair. I noticed that my skin looked better. My stomach felt better. I was less gassy and could no long compete in fart battles with my kids.

That’s when I watched That Sugar Film.

It was enlightening. I realized that I’d previously been eating a shit ton of sugar each day. When I included things like P.B.J sandwiches, cups of tea with honey, white pasta and bread I was shocked. My daily intake was easily around 20 teaspoons a day. Adults should only have around five.

Sugar’s Impact on my Hormones

Around the same time I began researching why I was feeling so hormonal. I had massive mood swings twice a month, horrendous abdominal pain, headaches, bloating and back pain. More and more I was having to pull of cool events because I was too tired, sick or sore to attend.

I saw and acupuncturist, a cranial osteopath and finally an Arvigo Therapist who realigned my uterus, recommended vaginal steaming and gave me incredible nutritional advice which was:

  1. Avoid gluten
  2. Reduce sugar as much as possible
  3. Eat good quality fats and proteins
  4. Eat as many plant foods as you can
  5. Drink water

The Sugar Detox

So I went for it. I cut gluten completely and slowly started cutting all sugar from my diet. The gluten was not too hard to cut out. I simply started using an organic, gluten free, sour dough bread and I switched to drinking earl grey tea which didn’t seem to need sweetening. At this stage I would still eat occasional sugar but I was getting better at limiting it. It was no longer a binge fest.

I started to feel so much better. My hormones normalised. I no longer had mega-PMS. My stomach stopped bloating. I had much more energy. I liked how things were going so I went even further and cut all processed sugar out of my diet.

Going Refined Sugar Free

This part was harder. The only sugar I would have, came from fruit and two pieces of very dark chocolate. I learned to love the sweetness of banana and my daily banana cacao smoothie was just as good as any other sweet treat.

I committed to my sugar free diet for a trial period of one month. I downloaded a sugar free app to my phone to count how many days I had been sugar free. If I ate any sugar I would have to restart the counter. At the times I really wanted to quit, I would check my counter and think about if I really wanted to re-set it.

On those days that really wanted a treat I would make avocado and banana chocolate mousse or gluten free banana bread. I thought they were delicious but my kids were not sold.

The Benefits

After the month was up I felt amazing. My skin was glowing. I’d lost body fat and increased muscle. My joints felt better. I no longer woke in the morning feeling achey and dopey. My mind felt super clear and I was less likely to lose my shit with my kids. I decided to keep up the sugar free awesomeness.

The really interesting change was discovered when I went to my hairdresser for a cut and colour. “Wow” she said, looking at my scalp. “Your psoriasis is completely gone! What did you do?”

“Is it?” I replied, slightly in shock. All my life I had had scalp psoriasis. I’d done everything I could to get rid of it. I’d applied oils, creams, smelly tar and steamed dock root. I’d taken disgusting skin tonics and used EFT. Nothing had ever worked. Until then. “Oh wow,” I went on. “I quit sugar!”

Soon the whole salon had converged around my head. They’d all seen my scalp. I’d been going there for years. They’d all offered their words of advice to treat my issue but to no avail. They were all speechless. “Maybe we should all quit sugar too?” said my hairdresser.

I was glad my psoriasis was gone but the news was bittersweet. I now had sound proof that one of my longest ailments had been caused by my diet.

I quit sugar, then didn't

Taking it too Far

As I left the salon that day I was excited by this new revelation. What if I stopped eating all sugar? I wondered. What if I reduced fruit too? What if I even stopped having my delicious clean food protein bars? I mean, they are made with dates. Dates are sugar. Yes. I best cut them too. All of it must go!

So basically I went a bit nuts. I got carried away. I cut all of the things. If I ate a piece of fruit I felt a bit naughty because somewhere along my research journey I had read that ‘sugar’s sugar’ so all of it was bad.

The thing about sugar is that we actually need it. We don’t need twinkies or M&Ms but we do need glucose – found in grains and root vegetables – and due to the fiber content of fruit we can actually digest the fructose in that banana without harming our liver. But I had forgotten this information.

Basically, I became obsessed. My mind was on sugar patrol 24/7. I didn’t feel awful in my body but I was craving sugar. I wanted something sweet but I would scold myself for baking my famed banana loaf.

A Sugar Free Obsession

The penny dropped when I found myself in the confectionery isle staring at the candy bars. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been there. Suddenly I realised that what had begun as I mission to become more healthy was slowly becoming an eating disorder. I was becoming food obsessed and I’d been there before. I had a flashback to my early 20s when I’d starve myself all day then binge on candy. I knew that if I didn’t get a handle on things pronto that I’d be headed right back into that cycle.

So. I took a block of chocolate off the shelf, marched to the checkout, paid and ate that bastard right there in the carpark!

Did I feel sick afterwards? Did I crash and get a headache? Absolutely!

But d’you know what? I didn’t die. The world did not end. I just ate some fucking chocolate and went about my day.

Now, sitting here in my post-holiday February bod, I am slowly once again trying to reduce my sugar intake. I can feel the soft tickly claws of the sugar demon closing around my neck. I am tired and grumpy and my skin looks a bit shit and yes, my psoriasis has returned. But one thing’s is for sure, I am not going to go for broke. I am not going to cut out all pleasures. I am going to enjoy my banana loaf and look forward to my night time fix of dark chocolate.

Keeping your Head Healthy

Obsessing over anything is never healthy. Just as the Law of Attraction says – the key is in relaxing and submitting. When we live in fear of failing we are actually self-perpetuating that so called failure.

I don’t want to feel obsessed. I just want to eat well and feel good. I want to find a healthy balance that allows me to enjoy life in all its imperfect glory.

Full Time Unicorn

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction: Living in the Vortex

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pink ice cream truck

According to the teachings of Abraham, The Vortex is the space where everything that we have ever asked of the Universe resides. It’s a place of plentiful abundance. A place where we feel fabulous, grateful, generous, successful and excited for all that life brings. It’s also that place where we feel truly comfortable in our own skin and able to be our true selves. It is inside The Vortex that we release our inner unicorn!

How do you know if you’re in The Vortex?

When we are living inside The Vortex everything runs fluidly. The Universe sends us what we want and need at an astonishing rate. We encounter coincidences and synchronicities in our daily lives: You may see repeating double, triple or quadruple digits. When you think of a person, that person will call you. If you’re thinking about something, let’s say adopting a cat, then a cat who urgently needs rehoming will appear in your life.

When we’re in The Vortex we give willingly to others and have a sense of joy and love in our hearts. We are not afraid of giving too much because we know that the Universe offers abundance. We are unafraid to ask for what we want and we truly believe that what we have to offer is of the greatest value.

The Vortex is not place for fear, envy, comparison, judgement and negativity. Those are all products of a lack mindset. Feeling envious of another person’s success, or judging someone’s right to abundance is a sure fire way to get yourself chucked out of The Vortex. All of a sudden you’ll find yourself on your ass, grumbling about how ‘you never get what you want’ and off you’ll go to scowl at Instagram and wallow in self-pity. Buh-bye Vortex!

What is a Vortex?

Everything in life is made up of vortices. If you look at an atom under a microscope, you will see that it is made up of multiple wheels of energy, tiny whirlpools, spinning around and around.

The Vortex is constantly present in nature. Look at the spirals in seashells, look at the double helix, look at water as it flows down the plughole.

There are known vortices of magnetic energy found across the world. The Bermuda triangle is one of them, known to pull planes toward its watery depths. Other vortices, such as the attraction in Gold Hill, Oregon have a repellant effect, often said to keep wildlife away.

Also consider the solar system. Not only is the moon orbiting the earth and the earth and the seven planets (sorry Pluto) orbiting the sun. But the sun is orbiting a black hole at the center of our galaxy, moving at 792,000 km/ph, flowing in a vortex of its own. It’s unnerving when you think about it, huh?

Our seven Chakra points are also vortices. They are tiny circling pools of energy spinning around and around. When one is blocked or overactive we become unbalanced. There are different symptoms associated to an imbalance in each chakra but basically, if your chakras aren’t spinning properly things can get a bit whack.

The same goes within The Vortex of vibrational alignment. If you’re not spiritually humming at the correct frequency you cause The Vortex to spin like a wonky wheel. Soon enough it breaks and poof! You’re completely out of The Vortex.

glitter hands

How will I know when I am out of The Vortex?

When we are not in The Vortex we feel like the world hates us. We blame those around us for all that is wrong in our lives. We compare ourselves to everyone, summarizing that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or thin enough and that is why we can’t have what we want. When we are not in The Vortex we judge others harshly. We wonder ‘what’s so great about them?’ and ‘I’m way better at that than her so why didn’t I get the job/pay rise/promotion?’ Outside of The Vortex we are ruled by fear and lack. We don’t believe there’s enough to go around so we try and claw our way toward our goals with no regard for others. When we are not in The Vortex we cannot be truly happy for anyone because we feel like their successes only highlight our failures.

Yep, being inside The Vortex sounds way more fun!

How do I get into The Vortex?

Good question baby! Basically, getting into the Vortex is simultaneously ridiculously easy and incredibly hard. But it can be done and once you’ve been in there it’s way easier to stay there.

GRATITUDE:

I wrote that in caps because it is very important! Nothing can come to you through the Law of Attraction without first being grateful for what the universe has already given you. You don’t have to have a house in the Hamptons to be grateful. You don’t even have to have 1 million Instagram followers or a Kardashian booty. Gratitude is about finding something, anything around you that you are currently grateful for. It can be as simply as the sunshine pouring into your room, a fantail swooping down to say hello to you, or the taste of the turmeric sauerkraut on your sandwich (*raises hand).

When I’m feeling like I’m about slip out of the Vortex, I force myself to look around and find five things that I am grateful for. Sometimes I play this game when I am out with negative or draining people who keep complaining (#familyforever). While they’re busy seeing the bad in everything I focus on the good. “This chair is really comfortable.” “That lady is wearing a fantastic pink sweater.” I thank the universe for the good around me and I send the negative people around me positive energy in the hope that my thoughts with lift their vibration.

Try to use gratitude daily and the other aspects of the law of attraction will fall into place.

living in the vortex

Belief:

Once you are grateful for all that you do have, you will start to realise that the Law of Attraction is working with you because you are fucking cool. There is no unicorn on earth quite like you and as soon as you realise that you’re your own kind of super hero you can get on with living the bestest life ever.

You’ll also start to notice coincidences and synchronicities in everyday life: a friend will pop into your mind, next minute that friend will call you. You’ll find yourself thinking of owls, soon owls will be everywhere. Notice these occurrences as it will help you to see that the Universe is always there saying ‘hi’. Say ‘hi’ back and smile because, Baby, you’re in the Vortex! Once you are aware of this communication between you the Universe you will start to truly believe that anything is indeed possible.

Believe you will get that job of dreams. See it in your mind. Feel it in your heart. The universe loves you. Believe it, then receive it.

Trust:

Now is the simplest and also the hardest part. Trust that the Universe will sort it out for you while you are rocking your favourite outfit and going about your day with a smile in your heart. What you have asked for is already here. It’s in the Vortex, Baby and so are you!

Full Time Unicorn

Full Time Unicorn

Law of Attraction: Manifesting Abundance

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Manifesting Abundance

Manifestation has gained popularity over the last 10 years or so thanks to the self-help hit The Secret: The book which explains how the mind and the frequency of thought has a huge effect on the vibration you put out into the world.

The Secret – and Beyond

Personally I’ve never read The Secret. But I got the gist of it. A while back I watched the cheesy docu-drama – The Secret Laws of Attraction – and it got me to thinking about this manifesting business. Can I really will the universe to provide me with what I want and need? Do my own thoughts hold the power to send vibrations out into the world?

I know. It all sounds a little woo-woo. But I myself am a big fan of woo-woo. I can’t get enough of the shit. I love my salt lamp, my candles, my crystals, my herbs and of course I wouldn’t be without the horse shoe on my front door. I consider the moon’s cycle when it comes to my moods, I light candles to set my intentions and I even surround myself with runes and positive affirmations etched on coloured paper when I am working on a novel. So yeah, you can say I’ve pretty much crossed over into the realms of woo-woo in my daily life.

Is Manifesting all just Hocus Pocus?

There’s part of me (probably the left side of my brain) that is always looking for a scientific explanation. Proof that thoughts can really become things. Can the vibration of thought effect the energy around us? Is everything connected?

Yes! According to many a Nobel Prize winning physicist, everything in the universe is made out of energy.

“If quantum mechanics hasn’t profoundly shocked you, you haven’t understood it yet. Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.” – Niels Bohr

I decided to do some digging and discovered this mind blowing article on Collective Evolution.com. The following paragraphs gave me chills:

Quantum physicists discovered that physical atoms are made up of vortices of energy that are constantly spinning and vibrating, each one radiating its own unique energy signature. Therefore, if we really want to observe ourselves and find out what we are, we are really beings of energy and vibration, radiating our own unique energy signature -this is fact and is what quantum physics has shown us time and time again.

We are much more than what we perceive ourselves to be, and it’s time we begin to see ourselves in that light. If you observed the composition of an atom with a microscope you would see a small, invisible tornado-like vortex, with a number of infinitely small energy vortices called quarks and photons. These are what make up the structure of the atom. As you focused in closer and closer on the structure of the atom, you would see nothing, you would observe a physical void. The atom has no physical structure, we have no physical structure, physical things really don’t have any physical structure! Atoms are made out of invisible energy, not tangible matter.

Woah! We really are all just energy. And if we are all just made up of energy, then inevitably we are all connected in some way; our atoms banging together. When you accept this simple concept, then it starts to explain why the power of your thoughts could legit have an effect on not only your physical energy, but also the energy you push out and vibrate into the world. It may seem like there is only air around you, but the air is made up of gases, which are comprised of energy, the earth you stand on, at its most infinitesimal state – energy.

Manifesting Abundance

My Adventure with Manifesting

​My adventures with Manifestation didn’t actually start at this realisation. They began earlier when I started willing stuff into my life. It started with weeds.
Yes weeds.

I became oddly and quietly fascinated with edible weeds. This was because I had chickens and became concerned that they would eat toxic weeds and die. I started researching and discovered a plethora of edible weeds that humans could and really should eat due to their high nutrient levels that also grew plentifully, supposedly everywhere. One of them was chickweed.

Chickweed is identifiable by its opposing tear shaped leaves, 10 petal white flowers and the small line of fine hairs that grow along one side of the stem.

Chickweed Freak

I became a freak for chickweed. I needed to find some. First to feed my chickens, then to feed myself. Everywhere I went I was searching for the stuff. It was meant to grow everywhere but I couldn’t find it. At the park I’d scour the trees for signs of it growing at the stumps. I searched through my whole yard: Nothing! My family thought I was crazy – constantly taking weeds home so I could hold them up against picture on my laptop, squinting and scowling.

I was quietly obsessed. I didn’t go out of my way or whinge about not finding it, but it was always there in my mind just a little.

I gave up and planted a veggie garden, making sure all the weeds were out and filled it with spinach, kale, celery and silverbeat. My garden looked amaze. Not a weed in sight.

Because I am a bit of a fair-weather gardener and I get distracted from the craft due to my love of writing and not gardening, it was a while before I went back outside. But by the time I did my garden was full of weeds.

CHICKWEED!

I am not even kidding. There was so much chickweed in my garden it was dwarfing the other plants. The weirdest thing was, it was only growing in my garden. Not outside it, only in it.
It was weird.
I had manifested chickweed.
That’s where it began. After that I started moving up the mountain. If I could manifest chickweed, what else could I will into my life?

It turns out I could manifest paid writing jobs, acting work and free stuff. I also manifested the strength to finish my young adult fantasy novel with a manifested feeling of certainty that it will be published, it will be a super massive hit and it will begin my novel writing career.

Manifesting Abundance

How to Manifest Stuff

If you’re wanting to tap into the powers of manifesting but don’t know where to start, I got you covered.

Step 1: What do you want?

First thing’s first. To manifest cool stuff into your life you need to know what you want. It’s all very well to ask for all of the stuff but if you can’t clearly hold an image in your mind of what you want to bring to life then the vibrations you send out will be thwarted. Perhaps you are feeling a deep feeling of restlessness. You know that something is missing from your life but you don’t yet know what it is.

If this is the case, take some time to think about it. Talk it out with a friend or do some journaling to establish what it is that you are yearning for. Is it money to pay off debt? Is it that new job you interviewed for? Maybe you want to manifest more opportunities to turn your hobby into a career? Or maybe you just really want that new pair of kickass pink shoes. Whatever it is, be specific. The universe will respond.

Step 2: Write it down

Once you know what you want, write it down as a mantra. But, here’s the catch: write it down as if it has already happened. Instead of “I want to be a millionaire” instead write “I am so grateful to now be a millionaire”. Or better yet, you could be even more specific about how you want to become a millionaire. How about “I am truly grateful to be a successful business woman with a multi-million dollar company!” Yes.

Take time to write down your mantra. Pull out some pretty writing paper and a sparkly pen you love working with. Use your best handwriting and send your energy into each word on the page. You can even decorate the page with stickers and pictures of what you want and how you want to feel.

Step 3: Meditate

Some people believe that in order for your mantra to be released into the world, you need to write it down hundreds of times over multiple days. I don’t necessarily agree. I actually think that can be detrimental as it makes your mantra lose its oomph and the process becomes a bit of a chore. The manifesting power is in the mantra.

Once you’ve written it down, sit in a meditative state. Hold your mantra in your mind. Feel the joy all through your body as you say it aloud or think it to yourself. Believe it to be real. Feel the gratitude run through your veins. Let a scene of you living the mantra unfold in your mind. Follow the joy down the rabbit hole and see where it takes you. Will it into life. And so it is.

Manifesting Abundance

Step 4: Light a Candle

I’m a candle person and I feel like process of embracing of the energy of the fire element helps send my intention outward.

Take a candle of your choice and engrave your name and your desire along the side of it. As you light the candle hold the feeling of living your mantra in your mind. Sit with your candle for a moment, feeling its energy flow outwards.

If you like you can burn your mantra. I prefer not to because I regularly write down things I want to let go of emotionally and then burn them, so to burn my mantra would seem detrimental. I like to hide my mantra somewhere. Somewhere sneaky. Like under my bed. Then in six months’ time, when I think of it, I go back and pull it out.

You can continue to burn your manifesting candle daily – I do this while I work. Every time your burn it it will be bringing energy to your mantra but as you do it daily it won’t be an obsession, just a ritual.  Which brings us to…

Step 5: Surrender

The next step is actually the hardest. Once you have hidden your mantra. Forget about it. That’s right. Move on. Do not obsess about it. Be like Elsa and Let. It. Go. Do not constantly check your emails waiting for all your chickens to come home to roost at once. The power in manifesting lies in surrendering to the universe and actually doing nothing more than letting things unfold in divine timing.

Of course you can’t sit around watching Netflix and eating ice cream if your intention is to become a bestselling author. You actually have to do the work. The universe can only do so much. Part of the agreement is that your do your part. That means when the universe sends you opportunities it’s only polite that you take them. Don’t let your inner critic psyche you out.

I have a friend who constantly asks the Universe for things. The cool thing is the Universe delivers. The not so cool thing is she lets her self-doubt sabotage the opportunities, usually resulting in her saying no to them. Imagine you gave someone a gift – something they had said they really wanted – and they took it and said “actually, no thanks, I can’t accept it. I don’t deserve it.” Ouch! That would hurt your feelings, no? Imagine how the Universe feels when you turn down the gifts it offers you.  The Universe wants to send you cool shit. You just need to get out of your own way!

Step 6: Live like it’s already here

Yes. You’ve put your order up into the Universe and now it’s sitting in the vortex waiting for you to get in the zone. Come on baby! All of the cool shit is here waiting for you!

If you want to be an online baking sensation act as if you are! Bake! Tell everyone proudly and confidently, how much you love baking. Bake like you are the best baker in the world. Take yourself and your passion seriously.

If you want to be a bestselling author, write! Write everyday! That’s what best selling authors do once they become bestselling authors.

Step 7: Say thank you!

The Universe loves gratitude! Don’t we all? It’s only polite to say thank you when the Universe gives you want you ask for. Say it out loud whenever something amazing manifests; when you get a payment into bank account, when an unexpected tax refund comes through, when a friend offers you the exact book you were hoping to read.

Living with a sense of gratitude in your heart is the most effective way to live a life of abundance and the easiest way to get inside the vortex! Say thank you every day for the abundance that surrounds you!

Manifesting Abundance

 

The Limitations

There are a few things to consider when manifesting. You can’t make people do things. So if your mantra involves other people doing or changing things then it may be in vain. For example, you wouldn’t want your mantra to read “I am so grateful my ex-boyfriend changed his mind and came back to me”. Because the universe can’t control people, only energy. Though you could instead state “I am so grateful that the universe has provided me with a loving relationship.” Because really, maybe your ex was a bit of a scum bag and there is someone way better out there for you.

Another thing to bear in mind is that you may not get exactly what you are asking for. Personally, after auditions for cool acting jobs, I have tried to will that specific job into reality. Sometimes it’s worked and sometimes it hasn’t. But when it hasn’t, the universe has always provided me with some just as good, if not better. So perhaps you won’t get exactly what you are after in exactly the way you were hoping, but the universe will respond.


Love and Abundance!

Full Time Unicorn

Creative Industries

Thinking in Colour: Synesthesia

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Synesthesia

As a kid I loved the weekend because it meant we had two yellow days next to each other. I preferred the yellows days way better than Monday – the only red day of the week. Tuesday was also yellow. But a darker yellow than Thursday which was a bright fluro yellow. Wednesday was orange and Friday was green. But Friday was special because it also had a picture with it. A green jelly-bean shape with dots in it. I had no idea back then but I was experiencing the symptoms of synesthesia.

The mind of a Synesthete

When I think of numbers, they are all stacked bottom to top and they each have their own colour. When they get to 11, they start going horizontally. The twenties are all purple, the thirties all green and the forties all red and so on. One hundred is a red castle with a flag at the top.

The months of the year have their own colours too, and they’re set out on a timeline; like a ruler, with a large monolithic divide between the two years. I am positioned on that ruler too – quite close to the end now as it’s December.

What is Synesthesia?

This is how my mind works. I have synesthesia, meaning that my mind associates words, letters and numbers with colours. Some synesthetes smell, taste or feel pain in colour and sometimes shapes as well. There are those who also see these colours, not in their mind’s eye, but floating in front of them. Some hear in colour and physically feel music within their bodies.

Lorde: “It’s hard to explain this to people who don’t have synesthesia because they don’t know any different,”

Singer Lorde has chomesthesia type synesthesia. She hears in colour which helps her to create beautiful artworks – that also sound pretty good too.

“If a song’s colours are too oppressive or ugly,” she explains, “sometimes I won’t want to work on it – when we first started Tennis Court we just had that pad playing the chords, and it was the worst textured tan colour, like really dated, and it made me feel sick, and then we figured out that pre-chorus and I started the lyric, and the song changed to all these incredible greens overnight,”

Synesthesia

 

Doesn’t everyone think in colour?

Thing is, I always assumed that everyone saw words, numbers and letters of the alphabet as colours and images. It wasn’t until I was much older that I realized that it’s actually a somewhat rare attribute. According to the American Psychological Association, around one in 2000 people are synesthetes but it is suspected that around one in 300 have some lesser form of the condition.

It’s believed that synesthesia runs in families and it tends to be more common amongst women. Personally I’ve always kind of liked my synesthesia. It’s just how my mind works. But I really wish I could up my synesthesia skills and start hearing colours. That’d freaking awesome. Could such a gift be trained?

Can Synesthesia be Learned?

Well, according to synesthesia expert, Jamie Ward, “no”. I know. Sadface. “You can train yourself to think of the letter A as red, but you wouldn’t literally see it (that way) if you were just to associate the colour to the letter.” Ward goes onto explain however that some people may acquire synesthesia after losing another sense. For example many people who go blind begin to associate sounds and words with colours. “These are hallucinations that blind people begin to have, which are triggered by sound.”

Pharell Williams: “I’d be lost…I’m not sure I could make music.”

Pharrell Williams, is another well-known Synesthete. He sees his synesthesia as a gift and would feel deprived if it was suddenly taken from him, claiming, “I’d be lost…I’m not sure I could make music.”

Like me, Williams also assumed that thinking in colour was what everyone did.  “Oh my God, it’s always been this way. But I thought all kids had mental, visual references for what they were hearing.”

Williams sees colours of the rainbow when he makes music, and believes that as well as having a correlation to musical notes, each colour also has an effect on a different chakra point. “There are seven basic colours: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. And those also correspond with musical notes … White, believe it or not, which gives you an octave is the blending of all the colours… For every color, there is a sound, a vibration, a part of the human body, a number, a musical note…You have all of your chakras.”

Williams also has an interesting theory about synesthetes and people with ADHD. “I happen to have a theory that synesthetes and people with ADD/ADHD will rule the world. You want to know why I think that is the case? Because historically, that is the case.”

Synesthesia

Other Famous Synesthetes

Other well-known synesthetes throughout history include Vladimir Nabokov, Vincent Van Gogh, Franz Liszt, Stevie Wonder and Marilyn Monroe. While they may not be well known politicians or activists likely to change the world in a revolutionary sense, people with synesthesia tend to be of the creative persuasion, which isn’t overly surprising when you think about it.

Secret Advantages of Synesthesia

Generally, those with chromesthesia (the sound to colour form of synesthesia) are inclined to become musicians as their form of synesthesia allows them to see notes in colour, which is a helping hand when it comes to learning pitch.

It’s believed that synesthetes who have the form known as special sequence synesthesia are more likely to have excellent memories as they view time in a physical special way in their minds. I too have this form of synesthesia and I remember everything. Seriously, there is very little from my childhood that I don’t remember and if I’ve seen a film I can tell you all about it. Even if it was years ago.

Do you have Synesthesia?

I think the weirdest part about having synesthesia is actually discovering that other people don’t have it. It makes me wonder what they see and how they think. It’s allows me to ponder at just how different we all are and that sometimes we have gifts that we aren’t even aware of.

Do you have synesthesia? I’d love to know!

Full Time Unicorn